Forks In the Road

My wife and I had traveled far to be with our family. We hadn’t seen them in over a year. There was just not enough time to see all the people we wanted to see. I mean, really see them: go to their homes, raid their refrigerators, play with the kids and basically just “hang-out”. Since that would have required just a few more days that we didn’t have, the next best thing was to have one big gathering at my sister house. That way, everyone could gather at one place and could verify for their own peace of mind that I really hadn’t lost too much more hair, my sense of humor nor gained weight since last time we met.

There were a couple of unpredictable factors that I wasn’t looking forward to. One, my brother was not responding to anyone’s phone calls. He doesn’t have voice-mail. He does have e-mail (no response there either) and caller i.d.. Caller i.d. is nice! It let’s you decide if and who you want to talk to without those annoying voice-mails. Wait a second! Could it be that…hmmm…I won’t “go there”, dear reader. In my heart, though, I already had. He lives about an hour away from my sister’s house. And I am sure the reason he didn’t call back was because he was too busy watching Nascar. Certainly he would be there, right?

The other factor was my mother. My mother is an alcoholic. Would she show up sober or even reasonably sober (no such thing, I know)? Maybe I could chat with her, play her a song on my guitar, take a walk through the neighborhood on this reasonably warm afternoon. Something..anything to let me know I had a mother left that hadn’t been taken by booze.

Close to party time and no brother and no mother. Over an hour and nothing. Although I did feel a deep hurt inside, everyone else was there and I couldn’t get enough of being with everyone. I got to meet new “signifigant other’s” and introduce my wife to some new people. I was having such a good time. We were all having a great time and I was about really about ready to cry the whole time because I was happy to be with everyone.

And then my mother showed up. She wasn’t three-sheets-to-the-wind. She was the whole linen closet in a hurricane. To sum it up adequately, my quote of the evening was from one of my sister’s when we were trying to present birthday presents to my mother for her birthday a few days away: “Let’s hurry this up. “Survivor” is on in 10 minutes.!” That’s how people deal with pain: minimize the exposure if you can’t avoid it all together.

I was blind. My wife, and almost everyone else were expecting to be let down. But my hopes were too high to protect myself.

As some last ditch effort, I offered to play a song for my mother. She walked off without looking at me saying, “Well, if you want to.” She didn’t look back.

Good idea for me, too.

Clydesdales!!

There are some parts of winter that make the cold easier to handle. There is the first real snow fall. There is also the long, heavy snow that covers the earth in the blanket of white. Unfortunately, we arrived when the predominant landscape features related to the cold were frozen mud and the black, exhaust stained heaps of ice that remained along the streets. Not pretty. More than one person was baffled why we bothered to travel to Wisconsin at all during the time of the year when it was so ugly.

My other sister met my wife and I at a McDonalds off the interstate. She was our escort to a local Clydesdale horse farm( http://www.claysclydesdales.com/ ).They call them the gentle giants. If you take a look at the web-site I linked above, you'll see what I mean even if you have never come nose to nose with a Clydesdale.

It was windy and briskly cold outside so we spent most of our time inside the old barn. The horses were all in individuals stalls with the exception of the mares with their newborns. As we walked by the row of Clydesdales with their rear ends facing into the narrow aisle my first thought was, "I hope one doesn't get bugged and decide to kick me by accident! “ Instead as I walked deeper into the musty and “richly scented” atmosphere the more comfortable I felt.

Over the next couple hours we nuzzled noses, scritched withers, got licked and made a bunch a new four legged friends! A big highlight for my wife was when a day old filly fell asleep in her lap... and snored!

What can I say about the rest of the visit? Horses continually impress me and renew my wonder and joy. There are completely earthen and completely heavenly all in the same breath. It makes me wonder how Jesus didn’t wind up as a horse. Of course I know that is absurd. Instead of the harrowing part of the story line, the story of Jesus would have wound up with a roll in the fields and running off ahead of the rest of the herd.

Random Thoughts: Pet Bed

Because we love having pets, I bought a pet bed from a roadside vendor the other day. It was really well constructed and at the right price. I named it Spot.

Midwest Sojourn: Part II

Seeing family again is such a good thing. There is a special relationship that exists with people that have know you your whole life. They have seen you at your worst and worse than that. They saw you go through your geek stage and celebrated your times of brilliance. God only knows what memories of you your family carries: memories they hope they never forget and some they wish they could.

This is what happens when I get together with family: I rediscover a part of myself. There is that part of myself that is that son, that brother, that uncle. Yes, yes, yes... I know that I am my own person. But one inescapable delight is to know that I am redefined in some mystical way each time a new soul is added to the family or moves on beyond this earthly veil.

And so it was when we arrived at the home of my brother-in-law and my sister and saw them once again. Even though it was past their bed time when we showed up they stayed up for awhile and made us feel at home and get "settled in". That is one great thing about them is that make you feel at home right off. Of course this is not to slight or take anything away from her nice, plump kitty-cat that was a fuzzy welcome wagon on paws (sans fruit basket & coupons).

That night my wife and I slept in antique beds that once belonged to my grandparents. Yes, I meant to use the plural form of the word bed. For whatever reason, my grandparents weren't real big on cuddling at night. Having been raised by them many moons ago, and recalling my day-to-day life, I can only assume it was a combination of farting and snoring. Nonetheless, it is better to banish such thoughts and wonderment while trying to get to sleep after a long trip.

We fell asleep in a room at a lower temperature than the daily low temperature in Tucson. What might have otherwise coaxed us to turn on the heat back home lulled us into dreams under the comforters and quilts.

Next time....The Clydesdale horse farm visit!

Random Thought

I have always been amazed that the deaths of celebrities always come in three's. For example, look at the string of deaths from recent headlines: Pope John Paul II, Prince Rainier of Monaco and today Prince Charles got married to Camilla.

Midwest Sojourn

Recently my wife and I flew north to go visit my family. It has been over a year. I was so excited! Where would we go? What would we do? Would I see everyone? Would they be sober? What follows is the first part of my story.

Flying North -Installment 1

When we got into our seats on the plane she sat by the window and I sat in the middle. The nice gentleman sitting next to me spent the entire flight studying: Otolaryngology: Head and Neck Surgery. It was times like that I was glad that pocket knives were prohibited on flights and I could relax without worrying about this guy doing something weird to me. I tried to sleep but ended up reading and watching the in-flight movie, Briget Jones: The Edge of Reason, with no sound.

After we landed in Minneapolis/St. Paul we went to the Mall of America and met with some acquaintances that my wife had met at a convention in Las Vegas. If you have never been to the Mall of America I can only describe it as the foremost monument to capitalism on the North American continent and well worth taking a mortgage equity loan out. It's really the most fun you can have spending money without sticking dollar bills into a g-string (so I've heard).

After we walked about the mall a bit we hit the road to Wisconsin to find my sister's house. My wife had purchased the new Michael Buble cd, bless her heart. We listened to it almost three times through before we got into all the quality country music stations. By the way, no offense intended Michael but your publicist chose a picture for the front of your web-page (http://www.michaelbuble.com/) that makes you look like you were just struck with a wiffle-ball bat.

We finally did get to my sister's house long after sunset. Let me tell you, going to the mid-west after having spent so much time in the desert is like going to a new word all over again. There are things such as freezing temperatures and the people talk with a weird accent.

I know the suspense is "killing" you but I will do the second installment later. Sorry.